I know, I know. A day late. But presidential badassery is not, CAN NOT, be confined to one day. American presidents are like Chuck Norris, that magnificent Texas Ranger, who “is the reason Waldo is hiding.” Also, “Chuck Norris doesn’t breathe. He holds air hostage.”
Except, if you’re an American President, after you die, people say cool stuff about you like this: “After his death, a notable politician remarked, ‘Death had to take him sleeping, for if Roosevelt had been awake there would have been a fight.’ ” (Referencing Theodore Roosevelt, Mr. President Extraordinaire and All-Around Asskicker)
Presidential Ninja BadAss Day is the official name of this government endorsed holiday. To be fair, every day in Washington DC is National Presidential BADay. After all, we’ve got a ninja in the White House.
If Boingo Boingo is reporting it, it must be true.
Anyways, that clearly makes DC the perfect city in which to hone your ninja skillz and admire the President (from a distance, of course). Here are some more odes to Presidential Badassery, made to be enjoyed throughout the rest of the week. That’s how badass they are. Their awesomeness cannot be contained in one day.
What: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
When: June 22, 2012
Where: Hopefully, every movie theater in town
How much: 3D this sucker. It’ll totes be worth the extra gajillion dollars.
Pro Tip: Tagline is “Are you a Patriot or a Vampire?” Way to stick it to the vampire crowd. As if you can’t be both. American Vampire, anyone?
What: Lincoln Memorial
When: The public may visit the Lincoln Memorial 24 hours a day. However Rangers are on duty to answer questions from 9:30 A.M. to 11:30 P.M. daily.
Where: “The memorial stands in West Potomac Park, near the convergence of numerous roads from throughout the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area.”
Metro: Smithsonian, Blue/Orange lines
How Much: Free
Pro Tip: Go have a word with the man himself. Suffered much in life, died tragically, and accomplished the abolition of slavery and vampirism in the United States of America.
What: Mama Ayesha’s Presidential Mural and her Restaurant
When: Sunday-Thursday 12-9:30
Where: 1967 Calvert St NW, Washington, DC
Metro: Adams Morgan/Woodley Park/Zoo, Red Line
How Much: Free to look at the mural
Pro Tip: See if you can imagine Mitt Romney gracing that mural, with an arm around Obama’s shoulders. Does your brain hurt yet?